About two weeks ago, I went back to school – driving school, that is. I’m quite embarrassed to admit that this is actually the 3^rd time I took up driving lessons in a span of nine years.

The first time, I was still very eager to learn. I’ve practically memorized the Eraserheads’ hit Overdrive (“Gusto kong matuto mag-drive…. Kahit na wala akong kotse…”). But only after a few sessions, I was already feeling disheartened. I never thought that driving a car can be so physically demanding! It required great deal of focus and alertness, strong reflexes and good muscle coordination…. qualities which I haven’t been abundantly blessed with. It didn’t help that my balding instructor wasn’t too keen on helping me learn and gain confidence on my driving. I remember being allowed to drive outside the village only once, and I was on primera mode 90% of the time! After my lessons, I still didn’t have the nerve to practice my newly-acquired skills and risk smashing my dad’s car. My interest in driving began to wane.

After I got married, my hubby expressed his interest to study driving, and he encouraged me to take a refresher course as well. My dad was willing to lend us one of his cars so we can bring it to Ortigas where we both worked. Reluctantly, I took that darn refresher course. I had a better instructor and I got to drive outside the village a couple of times. But I was faced with the same issues with my footwork, steering, maneuvering and calculations. I finished the course with only a slight notch above my previous confidence level. Nonetheless, I applied for a non-professional driver’s license and got to practice my driving skills 2-3 times within our village. But when I got frustrated parking the car in front of the house one fateful night, I finally gave up on any hope that I’d be able to drive a car on my own.

My hubby, on the other hand, took his lessons very seriously, so he was able to drive the car to office immediately after he got his license. It was more or less a walk in the park for him. Since he’s already a capable driver, I didn’t feel the need to hone up my driving skills anymore. I was contented being his passenger, and I didn’t mind taking the public transport when he’s not there to drive me around.

The notion of getting me behind a steering wheel was revived only recently – 5 years after my previous attempt — after I enrolled my son to a preschool within our village. My family saw a good reason to bug me into refreshing my driving skills… so I can drive my son to school instead of riding a tricycle back and forth (which I don’t really mind doing). Against my will, I gave in to what they wanted. I renewed my long-expired driver’s license and enrolled, yet again, for a refresher driving course.

I finished my lessons last Sunday, and thank God, they gave me a passing grade, though I was still bothered by the usual problems on my steering, calculations and muscle coordination. But I’m happy to note that I’m a lot more confident now than 5 years ago. I’m still very anxious about driving alone or getting myself into any vehicular accident, but I guess these first-time jitters are really part of the learning process. I haven’t been driving since my last session, but I’m now more willing to practice my skills until I get the hang of it. With much practice, I know I can also achieve what my hubby describes as “being one with the car.” “Lakas ng loob” is not something I can learn or buy from driving schools, but something I can eventually acquire through constant practice. As in the case of parenting, practice makes permanent!